A MAN has nodded through a 60-minute monologue from his girlfriend on how they need to sit down and have a proper talk about their relationship.

Grace Wood-Morris chose the bank holiday for a discussion, in which she was the key contributor, of how Jack Browne never tells her anything or shares his feelings that lasted for the whole of a Family Guy double bill with adverts.

Browne said: “She muted the TV, took my hand and embarked upon an explanation of why we needed a grown-up conversation about opening up to each other that was without significant pause.

“She said we needed to review how unmindful I am to her needs, and open a broader conduit for emotional discourse, then something about needing to have a more impactful role in nurturing her feelings.

“It was longer than the relationship conversations in Love Island without even the benefit of her being in a bikini. The television continued behind her but I knew better than to even glance at it while I was busy saying ‘Mm’ and ‘Yeah’.

“45 minutes in, when she was outlining the creation of a mutual atmosphere of honest communication, and maybe a trust bubble, I could no longer pretend to understand any of it. I was mainly watching her face move and giving her teeth names.”

Wood-Morris said: “He was attentive and understood the importance of a shared commitment to open channels to prevent our relationship stagnating. But that wasn’t the talk. That was the talk about having the talk.”