Believe the only reason you're not winning women over with your dick pics is the lack of artistry? Follow these tips to become the David Bailey of the penis portrait:

Add a misleading item for scale: Perspective is key! A fun-size Mars Bar can be your secret weapon to making a big impression.

Focus correctly: Keep things clear but not too clear. You want focus, not a biology lesson.

Beware of backgrounds: Nothing kills the mood like a messy room or a rerun of Inbetweeners on TV. Keep it classy.

Filter it: A little Photoshop magic can turn pasty into picturesque. Who doesn't love a good sunset glow?

Send multiple shots: Like any good photographer, take many shots to find the perfect angle. Just be careful—more photos mean more evidence!