A man who can't be bothered to read the lengthy text his girlfriend sent him has gambled on replying with the tears-of-laughter emoji.

Weary boyfriend Tom Logan, faced with a text that looked more like a novel, decided to roll the dice and send a stock emoji response so he could return to his preferred pastime—watching pornography.

He explained, 'Odds are it’s just an anecdote about her day at work. I’m not skimming that. I’ve acknowledged it kindly with my emoji, but there’s a chance I’ve missed something serious.'

'It’s like Russian roulette for relationships. If I’m lucky, I’ve saved myself time and brain power. If not, the next message will be even longer.'

'Can you blame me? She never learned to use paragraph breaks. Ideally, she'd send bullet points, but that’s not how women work. At least it’s not a voice note.'

'Anyway, here goes nothing! If it all goes wrong, I’ll just say I clicked the wrong emoji. She probably won’t buy it, but it’s a solid distraction.'

His girlfriend, Nikki Hollis, commented, 'Fair play to Tom, he’s taken it well. I thought he’d be livid about being dumped over text.'